Mükemmel Anne ???

Bugün sizlere nasıl mükemmel bir anne olunur onu anlatmak istiyorum. Neler yapılmalı, nelere dikkat edilmeli, bu işin adımları neler?

Şimdi sabah kalkıyoruz, önce üzerimize şık bir kıyafet giyip, makyajımızı yapıyoruz. Kahvaltıyı mükellef bir şekilde hazırlıyor, bebeğin hazırlıklarını yapıyoruz. Sabah kahvemizi içiyor, bebeği besliyoruz. Bu arada evi toplamış oluyoruz, ütüleri bitiriyor, yemekleri hazırlıyoruz. Dışarıya arkadaşlarımızla buluşmaya hazırız. Kalan bol zamanımızda yeni annelik akımları ile ilgili okumalar yapıyoruz. Alışverişe çıkıyor, masaja gidiyor, kişisel bakımlarımızı hallediyoruz. Bebeği uyutuyor, öğle yemeğini hazırlıyoruz. Beslenmeyi halediyor, akşam üstü gezmemiz için yeni bir kıyafet giyiyoruz. Son trendleri takip edip bu doğrultuda bebeğimize mini eğitimler veriyoruz. Akşam yemeğini organize edip bebeği uyutup arkadaşlarımız ile bir sohbete katılıyoruz.

Şaka tabiî ki öyle bir şey bildiğini iddia eden varsa beri gelsin. Mükemmel anne diye bir durum söz konusu değil. Herkes şöyle bir rahatlarsında yazıyı öyle okusun. Bu işin matematiği yok yok yok. Annelik var o kadar.

Son dönemde iyice artan harika anne, mükemmel anne, ballış anne, tatlış anne baskılarının çoğu anneyi özellikle de yeni anneleri ciddi sıkıntıya soktuğunu görüyorum. Herkes anneliğini sorgular oldu. Sosyal medyanın yeni baskısı bu anneler üzerinde; her daim bakımlı, her işe yetişen, bebeklerine harika bakan ve gezen ve süslenen ve zayıf ve kadın ve ayy harika anneler. Yapanlara tebrikler ama bu görünen ne kadar doğru sorguluyor muyuz? Yok arkadaş öyle bir hayat, sen hem bebeğe bakacaksın, hem evinin yemeklerini yapacaksın, hem çamaşırı, ütüsü, temizliği vs derken birde masaja gidecek, manikür pedikür yaptıracak, her daim makyajlı ve şıkır şıkır gezeceksin. Yok bunlar yetmez bu arada nasıl çok iyi çocuk yetiştirilir okuyacaksın, tüm yeni akımları çocuk üzerinde uygulayacaksın, her an çok sakin sevecen ve çocuğunla kesintisiz vakit geçireceksin. Bunları yapıyorsan zaten Nobel verelim sana ama muhtemelen kendini klonlamışsındır.

Sanal alemin bu yanılgısına düşme lütfen. Böyle gördüğün anneler birinden yardım alarak hallediyorlar. Evi biri temizliyor, yemekleri yapıyor, çocuğu yediriyor, uyutuyor bla bla.  Kendini bu tarz anneler ile kıyaslamaya kalkarken bir düşün zaten gün 24 saat, tüm gün ayakta bile olsan tek kişi olmaz bu iş. Çoğu zaman kahve içebilmek bile lüks iken nasıl her yere yetişebilirsin.

Düzen delisi bir sistem sunuluyor annelere, her yer temiz olacak, yemekler her daim hazır, mutfak her an dergi çekimi yapılacak gibi düzenli, kıyafetler hep ütülü sanki bunlar mutlu ediyor çocuğu ve seni. Bir baskı kuruldu ki üstümüze ne yaparsak o çıtaya çıkamıyoruz zaten. Sonra geliyor bir mutsuzluk, o yapıyor ben yapamıyorum eksikmiyimler dolaşıp duruyor beyinde. Sonra beyin yanıyor bir stres bir sıkıntı. Ev de dağılacak her an her şey de toplu olmayacak, mutfak tezgahı savaş alanı gibi olacak bunların hepsi olacak. Yaşam böyle dağınık zaten. Adı üzerinde sanal alem, herkes nasıl istiyorsa öyle gösteriyor kendisini. İzlemek takip etmek bunlarda sıkıntı yok ama kıyas yapmaya başladıysan işte o kötü.

Yapma bunu çocuklarına en önemlisi de kendine. Sen sadece iyi bir anne ol hatta sadece anne ol. Bundan başka bir şey istemez bebeğin. Kocaman bir kucak, sonsuz öpücükler, seni seviyorumlar yeter ona. Bir düşün dünyanın en iyi annesi senin annen değil mi? Demek ki senin bebeğin içinde dünyanın en iyi annesi sensin. Ne düzen, ne temizlik, ne başka şeyler değil sensin sen. Mutlu Anne ol yeter. Ne kadar rahat bırakırsan kendini o kadar kolaylaşacak hayat dene ve gör.

Herkesin kendi olduğu güzel bir yaşam dileklerimle.

Sevgiler

@3bebek1kedi

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